I am hoping that, with time, the things I worry about and lose sleep over now will only bring me laughs in the future. Bouts of laughter triggered by sheer amusement at my own stupidity and mistakes made as a young adult, for prioritizing things that should’ve been second to what was truly important, and pressuring myself with self-made standards no sane human being would ever force themselves to meet (and exceed).

But for now, I will lay in bed when night falls with my heart pounding in my ears. I will worry a little and think a lot. I will question the world and ask why things turned out the way it did in the years that I have been alive. I will ponder and frustrate myself until silence drowns out my heart and I fall asleep as the sun begins to rise.