I push at every shove. It must be annoying when that person no longer wants you to be as involved anymore - or at all. Surely they are doing it for a reason: they’re tired, they want someone new, they’ve found someone new, they need their space.
I care and I care too much. I miss and become blinded; my mind focused on that one person.
I love yet cannot say a thing because I know. I get it. I get why it’s happening, but have not accepted it. They cannot always be there for me anymore, even if I want to be there for them all the time no matter what.
Silence scares me.
Thoughts plague me.
"What am I doing wrong?"
"Do they hate me?"
"Is there something I don’t know?"
I am afraid of being abandoned, replaced, and forgotten. I do not want to be like everyone else in their life.
I hang on to a single thread. I try my best not to lose that person again, but I can’t help but be afraid, be paranoid, and be angry as I fight to keep my delusional sense of significance I once had.
It is a losing battle with what I cannot have anymore.