It has been three weeks since my college graduation and, on that day, I felt genuine happiness, excitement, relief, anxiety, and a muddle of other emotions one may get when finally persevering through something that was financially, mentally, physically, and emotionally grueling.
The high I felt quickly became a nose dive into an ocean of my own self made insecurities and superhuman expectations I cannot reach and surpass. It helped boil the vat of self doubt, of what-ifs and I cants. My nights and weekends became days where I would be rolled up in bed feeling sorry for myself. “What happened?” would always be a passing thought as I slept through the time I wanted to utilize to be a better me.
I crossed the finish line and have a degree in my hands with a couple of years of experience in the field. I promised myself to limit my use of “no” and make more use of “yes”, yet here I am sitting on my bed, hunched over a laptop.
What reason do I have to feel the way that I do? I am uninspired and, as embarrassing as it may be to admit, I feel unwanted and unacknowledged.